Well, for starters, I’m definitely less awkward. Of course, I’m still really awkward (I guess, I don’t really consider things awkward anymore. It takes a lot.). I have a lot more friends, I’ve become more of an open person, which isn’t always a good thing, since I really have no secrets. I’m not afraid to do more things and I don’t get as scared in certain situations, and I only worry about stupid things, like if I get to see my best friends. I think my motivation is about the same but I have learned to work when it really really really counts. I’ve tried to be less dependent and take control of my anxiety and let my anger and other emotions just flow instead of keeping them inside and building stress, even though that doesn’t always work.
I’ve become more exhausted all the time, though, and that’s definitely not a good thing.
“And it’s hard to be a human being
And it’s harder as anything else
And I’m lonesome when you’re around
And I’m never lonesome when I’m by myself
And I miss you when you’re around”—“Baby Blue Sedan” by Modest Mouse (via silenceofthesirens)
i’m finally done with making up my 30 day challenge posts and downloading the music onto my new computer. i’m going to enjoy a nice three hour nap before school and hopefully be able to come home to a beautiful nap.
yes, beautiful. cuz sleeping is the best feeling ever and my dreams are magnificent mind movies.
I can’t get enough of Gossip Girl. The sets, the cast, the clothes, the drama, the GORGEOUS guys. It’s been on my queue on Netflix for the past couple months and I am now on season 3 and it is amazing. All the people I wanted together are finally together but there is ALWAYS a twist.
So, yep, it’s great and I could probably watch it forever. I’m going to bed.
I value my own education, though it really doesn’t seem like it. I believe that education is definitely necessary to a certain degree, but college, and in some cases, even high school are not vital to progress in someone’s life. In my case, as with millions of others in the US, I am attending college to achieve some higher education and get some degrees. I want a nice paying job so I don’t have to work to work to work all my life.
That’s another point: Education is just working for further education (more working) so that you can work for money to live. I think that’s fucked up so I don’t want to spend my whole life working. I’m going to try to live a life of leisure SO I CAN FEEL IT ALL AROUND.
OBVIOUSLY I AMMMM getting so tired. hahaha Making bad jokes is my sleepy specialty.
Lately, I have been pissed off/disappointed with my parents so I’ve been talking back to them and getting into arguments with my dad. I’ve never been the type to go off on people, though, so I’ve never cursed at them, or called them hurtful names. I let my parents know exactly what I’m thinking and I like to consider myself the “good” kid so I never really do anything to offend or disrespect them, I guess.
Honestly, I don’t really remember things in order. I don’t remember them in year blocks either, so this probably isn’t going to go well, but oh well.
In the past 365 days, my highs have been meeting a lot more people, becoming good friends with many of them, making it to summer vacation, having a great summer, enjoying my senior year, going on a nice cruise, having a good Christmas and winter break, getting accepted to colleges, Josh coming home, seeing my friends at college or coming home from college, getting a boyfriend, breaking up with him, now moving my way and getting what I want ;), and actually making some sort of effort in school in the second semester.
My lows are definitely prom, every shark week I’ve had (12), being late every single day of school, getting sick all the time, getting my wisdom teeth out and THEN getting them infected, not being close to people who are part of my very essence hahaha, being super anxious, having panic attacks, family drama, everything drama, going out with a crazy person and subsequently almost being taken down by this person, missing everyone in college, making it back to school to just make shit grades and fail, Katie’s accident for suuure, and now more family drama.